What is meditation? It is the state of being in the here and now i.e. the present. Being in the present moment is a very hard exercise for me. My mind is always pre-occupied with the list of things I have to accomplish before the day ends. I wake up with a list in my mind. I don’t think I can change that, not yet. I have, however, learned to manage my expectations around my list through meditation. Before reaching this stage, all it took was for one thing from my list to derail my whole day. By becoming aware of myself frequently (I am not yet in the being aware of myself stage of meditation practice) I am able to catch myself before things go out of control, sometimes I slip and roll with my emotions. I have other tools I use to get myself back up when this happens which I will talk about another time. My meditation practice starts on my mat and stays with me throughout the day. Sometimes it is ahead of me and sometimes behind, but it is there with me. It requires constant effort to remember what is important, my presence in the present moment and space is important.
Truth about my meditation practice
I have learned to cherish the time I spend on meditation, if you ask what motivates me. The honest answer is, I am not motivated every day, rather what brings me to my mat is self-discipline. This does not mean it comes easy for me. I still struggle to sit down. My mind still goes off to the busy land and what’s next on my to-do list. What changed is my understanding and acceptance that this is how it is going to be when I meditate. This is a practice, and it is seldom perfect. It is like building a muscle and there isn’t another way of doing it. It is comparatively easier to be present when things are going well. This does not mean I can take a break because it is easy. It is nearly impossible to meditate when nothing is going my way, this does not mean I give up. I have to come back to my mat. Every time I come back to myself on my mat or away from it, I am training to being aware, in the here and now. To tell the truth, I am humbled every time I slip and my thoughts and emotions takeover. I am not surprised if you don’t find this encouraging. I am saying it like it is, at least for me this is how it is.
Here is a scenario
As I write this, I make several attempts to come back to the present moment. When it is hard to find words, my mind beats me up and negative emotions take over. Becoming aware of the present moment does not magically transform my writing, however it helps to catch myself before I lose the battle, it reminds me why I am here and what I am trying to achieve in this moment. If I can keep my intention in the forefront, I can finish the task at hand without yielding to distractions played by my thoughts. This is one of the primary benefits of being in the present moment. Meditation requires some amount of motivation internal or external, if you stick with it for some time in due course the process brings about a level of self-discipline which keeps the practice going even in the absence of motivation.
You are not alone.
I don’t want you to assume that from here on it is an easy ride, and you are set for life with your practice. Reality is there will be unpredictable breaks in your practice, life will happen, a vacation or an emergency of some sort will throw your practice out the window, worse is that your mind has greater practice at giving wonderful reasons why you could not continue with a new formed habit. When you fall out of your practice, remember a pause does not have to be an end. You can always find motivation and self-discipline around the corner at Oaktree yoga practice, reach out to me and I will support you in your journey of self-discovery.